I Would Still Want to Live This Way

This is one of a series social media posts that I wrote in 2021 during the height of my Faith Transition. Because I was publicly deconstructing in front of an entirely faithful network of friends and followers, I received a lot reactions, questions, and backlash from people I loved regarding my journey. Many of them were dismissive or hostile towards me because they had been trained to me as a “defector.”

Since an overly long response in a comment or personal message would have been seen as aggressive, I took quotes from these reactions to write these public posts in response. I never attributed the person who asked the question since I didn’t want anyone to feel specifically blamed or called out for having the response. The questions are also not unique. They are part of the scripted response we were taught to have as members of the “in-group.” Still, each post begins with a quotation because it is a question I personally received during my Transition.

Q: “Even if the Church weren’t true, I would still want to live this way.”

Hey, I used to say this, too!

👍And, as it turns out, I was sincere. The key differences are that now, Murphy and I have a coffee ritual together every morning, choose our own underclothes, and we donate money to actual humanitarian aid funds, instead of the Church’s real estate venture for taking over Florida. 🙅‍♀️

I still think this statement is important to talk about, though, because embedded within it is one of the long-standing bastions of thought-stopping for LDS Church Members.

😰When the chips are down and a lot of doubt around the “one true and living Church” claim starts rolling in, our minds typically reach for some reason (any reason) that will excuse us from examining those concerns any further. And the excuse that most of us find is this:

🙈We like the way things are and the unknown is scary, so even if our beliefs about why things are that way are wrong, we needn’t figure that out, because we would just live the same way, anyway, and it would be wasted time and effort.

👉This, in turn, is based on the assumption that the only aspect of your life that would change as a result of your beliefs is WHAT you do.

🌱In reality, there are many dimensions to how we act, when, and why. Thus, even if our essential actions seem similar, the motivations behind those actions, the balance we feel within them, and the impact of those actions afterwards can change dramatically due to a shift in mindset.

Instead of assuming that we have enough knowledge and need no more because we’ve found a groove we like, it might be worth considering:

🤷How could I live [my groove] in a healthier way?

🤷What questions am I avoiding about my lifestyle, my beliefs, my health, or my job because of fear?

🤷Why do I do the things the way I do?

🤷 What patterns of thought of action am I passing on to the next generation?

🤷Is that the legacy I want to leave in the world?

This may or may not have any relevance on your faith journey at all, but maybe it will lead you on some interesting journeys of increasing health, awareness, conscious parenting, or something else.

🍲We’ve taken a few of those journeys, too.

And yes, all of them have been painful and disappointing, in some ways.

But, for us–all of them have been worth the effort.

It’s why I keep asking these questions, still. I’d rather be wrong than be stuck.

Ultimately, every step we take towards intention is a step away from fear and whether your future is within or apart from the LDS Church, it will be brighter if it’s your choice, not your default. 🌅