Families Aren’t Forever Unless They’re Abusive (Polygamous)
In 2021, I did a 10-day series of posts leading up to Thanksgiving to share resources, quotes, and stories about how I deconstructed the doctrine of LDS Mormon Polygamy, or as the early Latter-day Saints called it “the Practice.” I used the hashtags #givethanks for each of these posts because then-Prophet Russell M. Nelson had just hyped up members to receive a modern day prophecy which consisted of him suggesting that all members of the Church do some humble-bragging missionary work with that hashtag in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. As far as I know, Church Members are still circulating this hashtag around Thanksgiving as a way to signal their loyalty to the Church when posting about the holiday.
These posts were a bit more passive aggressive than normal for me, since I generally try/tried to be very gentle with Church Members. I know how it feels to be in that tender balance of earnestness + cognitive dissonance while being overloaded with Church chores and family duties. My goal even as I deconstructed, was to be hard on the system but soft with people. However, getting a full face of gushing gratitude about Temples and the General Authorities and Joseph Smith every day when I went to Social Media was pretty grating and ultimately, these 10 posts were an attempt to communicate with the community I come from by using the “in-speak” of the Church while inviting critical thinking, rather than herd-compliance.
The #Givethanks Anti-Polygamy Posts
Day 5
Mmkay, let’s talk about Section 132 of the Doctrine and Covenants.
If you are LDS and similar to most members of the Church, this section is a hot-bed of cognitive dissonance because it is a maximum security endorsement of polygamy from Joseph Smith, but it also makes no sense, since Joseph didn’t even follow the rules for polygamy he lays out here.
It’s also the section that the Church has used to assure (some might say, coerce) modern-day people into believing that the Church guards the door to being with our families after death. It makes sense that feelings run hot in this section, no matter how you approach it.
So, brace yourselves. It’s okay. You can do hard things. 💗
Also, please remember that 👉 I 👈 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 132 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘑𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘱𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴. It’s okay if you’re angry or feeling some big feels, but try not to take it out on me.
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 thinking that 𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘺, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩. 😇
Okay, back to 132. First, let’s look at context.
Revelation was given in July 1842, at the request of Hyrum, who wanted to show Emma how ✨super true✨ “the principle” was. Joseph dropped it like it’s hot and Hyrum ran it over to Emma, who ripped it up and threw it in the fire. Later, she lectured Joseph over it and, according to household gossip, Joseph admitted that it wasn’t really a revelation.
That’s just a fun aside, though. Here’s some more firmly established historical context:
By July 12, 1842, Joseph had already had an illustrious career of adultery. Here’s some of themes well-documented highlights–
Joseph had:
• Given permission to his apostles to “take Lamanite wives” while away on their missions to the Native Americans in Missouri in 1831 🤮
• Sexed around in a barn with Emma’s teenage help in Kirtland, Fanny Alger in 1833 (Oliver Cowdery was so upset about this “dirty, nasty filthy affair that he refused to get in line with Joseph’s version of things and was excommunicated as a result)
• Written (or at least published as if he had written) in 1835, section 101 in the Book of Commandments (aka the D&C) in which he publicly proclaimed the Church to believe in monogamy.
• Started an affair with Lucinda Morgan Harris, probably while staying in her and her husband George Harris’s home as they got settled in Missouri and while Emma was pregnant.
• “Celestially sealed” himself to Louisa Beaman (age 26, Joseph aged 36) in secret on the banks of a river in 1841, with Louisa cross-dressing to avoid attracting attention. *Note: this was the first recorded sealing.
• “Taken” at least 15, but possibly up to 25 plural wives (for many of these women, the dates of their sealings were NOT EVEN recorded)
• Publicly denied polygamy on numerous occasions, including earlier that same year (1842) in General Conference, in which he claimed that reports of him trying to convince women to become plural wives were fabrications, lies, etc.
Here’s something he hadn’t done though…
He had NOT allowed Emma (his only legal wife; backbone of the practical aspects of the Church; his most loyal sidekick) to be sealed to him or to receive her endowment. That wouldn’t happen for another year in May 1843, when Emma had been beaten into submission with a torrent of threats of destruction from the mouth of Joseph-god for not “receiving all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph.” (132:52)
In other words, in-between his escapades messing around on the banks of the river trading wife-sealings with his buddies, he made just enough time to dish out this revelation to put Emma in her place.
In 𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 other words, if you cut out the flowery 19th century language of 132, the essential message is this:
Thus sayeth Joseph’s god:
…shame on you, Emma, for not letting your husband sleep around with whoever he wants in your house, where you have to clean the sheet and do the cooking and manage the kids because Joseph is buys screwing your teenage nannies. You’d better stop complaining and start feeding his mistresses or I, Joseph’s God, will destroy you!!
Also, Joseph is basically a god already–love that guy, he’s rad–anything he want to do is okay by me. He can have as many virgins as he wants and if they aren’t actually virgins, then I’ll punish them for…(wait for it)
…their impurity.
Annnnd you’ll be totally blessed for, like EVER, if you just give him free rein on all this. So stop asking him hard questions, already come on.”
Here’s something else Joseph hand’t done:
…he hadn’t explained that he wasn’t using the same ~definition~ for polygamy that the rest of the world was using.
This is how LDS apologists can still claim that Joseph Smith was being “honest” in publishing “carefully worded denials”and preaching denouncement after public denouncement of polygamy, even as he was seducing his Apostle’s wives while they were away on missions.
Some of the code words/phrases for polygamy include:
“the New and Everlasting Covenant”
“Celestial Marriage”
“Celestial Sealings”
“Eternal Marriage”
“the order of Abraham”
“Plural Marriage”
“the Practice”
“The Prinicple”
Let’s stop mincing words.
D&C 132 is not about monogamous eternal marriage and happy forever-families with the optional add-on of polygamy for those who want that
(which is what I was taught growing up)
It is about polygamy as the basis of the Celestial Kingdom.
👉That’s why only those who had been initiated into Joseph’s secret combination (aka the temple endowment) were allowed to be “sealed.”
👉That’s why it continued to be a prerequisite for all temple ordinances throughout the reigns of Brigham, John Taylor, and even most of Wilford Woodruff (until the gov’t threatened to seize the Church’s money, and then, WW was like, “welllll, okay, we’ll stop practicing it publicly*.”
👉That’s why Joseph didn’t even bother “sealing” himself to his children OR his parents–to him, heaven was all about increase-ownership-power-dominion over women. It was all about polygamy.
It’s amazing how just a little bit of context, suddenly make sense of all those weird historical facts that didn’t fit into our modern Sunday-School-version of this history, isn’t it?
TBH, this stuff gets can be pretty tedious to research, due to the tight secrecy that kept it hidden or obscured for many years. The sources are often diffused and confused by hearsay or modern-church equivocation.
So, I #givethanks today for the many scholars and historians who have volunteered their labor for cheap or free in helping us lay-members to collect and correlate all the sources and information that have helped me make some modicum of sense of this “house of order” (132:8). 😪
If you’re hankering for a more academic presentation of data on section 132 Here are some free online starting points:
The Joseph Smith Polygamy Denials
Emma’s Dilemma by By Common Consent
Wikipedia Article on Mormon Polygamy
Wikipedia on the Wives of Joseph Smith
We may not always tell people what they want to hear. Prophets are rarely popular. But we will always teach the Truth!”
Russell M. Nelson, BYU Devotional Septebmer 17, 2019
What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago; and I can prove them all perjurers.”
Joseph Smith Jr, History of the Church Vol. 6, 411
Careful estimates put the number of [Joseph Smith’s wives] between 30 and 40
lds gospel topics essay on ‘plural marriage in kirtland and nauvoo’
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